Work a square a good deal bigger than the area you plan to measure, in the stitch the pattern uses, then lay it flat without stretching it. Measure a four inch window somewhere in the middle rather than at the edges, and count the stitches and rows inside it. The edges of a swatch always lie about the tension.
Hook size first, because it moves tension the most for the least effort. A larger hook gives you fewer stitches to the inch, a smaller hook gives you more. Change one size, work a fresh swatch and measure again. If the stitch count comes right and the row count is still off, that is normal in crochet and usually handled by working to a measurement rather than to a row number.
Then it needs more than one step, and that is the yarn talking, not you. A half millimetre of hook moves the count by roughly one stitch over four inches in a worsted weight, so a swatch that is an inch over usually wants two or three steps, not one. Type the pattern's gauge into the match box above and it says how many. Past two or three steps the fabric turns stiff, and the better fix is a lighter yarn or scaling the pattern to your own gauge on the Scale tab.
Three usual reasons. The swatch was measured before washing and the yarn relaxed or shrank after. The swatch was worked flat and the sweater in the round, and most of us pull tighter in the round. Or tension drifted over a long piece, which it does when the hands warm up or the evening gets tense. Wash and block the swatch the way the sweater will live, swatch in the round for a piece worked in the round, and measure the body against the schematic after the first few inches rather than at the end.
Usually no. Plain dyed shades of one yarn gauge the same. The exceptions are heavily dyed darks, speckles and ombres, and anything with a different fibre blend under the same brand name, which can run a touch thicker or thinner. If the project mixes those, swatch the darkest or the busiest one and trust the rest.
Less than it does for a garment, but it still decides how much yarn you buy and how big the finished thing ends up. A blanket worked at a looser tension than the pattern assumed comes out wider, longer and hungrier for yarn, and you find out at the end.
Because a gauge is only a number if you say what area it was measured over. Four inches is the usual window and ten centimetres is the usual metric one. Measuring over a smaller area makes every counting error bigger.
Wovely holds your patterns in one place and marks off rows as you go, so you open your phone to the row you actually stopped on rather than the one you think you stopped on. This calculator stays free whether you sign up or not.